invite me over to ur house it’ll be a blast ill pet your dog while ur parents yell at you
I’ve mastered the art of not giving a fuck while simultaneously caring way too much
i want to play laser tag
I played laser tag and told two 7 year olds to fuck themselves
Simon Cowell seriously wasted the opportunity to say, “Simon Says no,” about a thousand times on American Idol and I just can’t forgive him for that.
we’re not true friends until I’ve sent you a pic of my double chin
perk of dating me: i have no social life so we can hang out whenever it’s convenient for you